Why Seduction and Pickup Techniques do not Work for Nice Guys
When it comes to seduction, nice guys have a particularly hard time making many of the rules, techniques, and methods that work for pickup artists and jerks work for them.
What often happens is the nice guy will see a pickup artist or a jerk using their methods and techniques with women successfully. Then when the nice guy try to duplicate the pickup artist methods and techniques to achieve the same success for himself, he often finds that things do not work out nearly as well for him if at all.
They know the methods and techniques work, they have seen it work for pickup artist and jerks, but for some reason it does not work as well for nice guys. Because of their lack of success, many nice guys will believe that either something is wrong with them personally or women do not want a nice guy. Understandably this frustrates many nice guys, and makes them reluctant to interact with women romantically because they know that the interaction stands a very good chance of not working out the way it did for seemingly for pickup artist and jerks.
It would benefit nice guys greatly to understand that there is nothing wrong with being a nice guy and that many women do want a nice guy. So then the question is, if the techniques and methods do work, then why won’t it work for the nice guy?
The major reason why the methods and techniques work for pickup artist and jerks is because of the mindset of those using the methods and techniques. It is not necessarily the method and techniques that make the interaction a success, it is the mindset behind the methods and techniques and lead to success.
Pickup artist and jerks do not want what nice guys want from an interaction. Nice guys are interested in a genuine connection from the interaction, while pickup artist and jerks are interested in getting a predetermined result from the interaction. (a phone number, kiss, date, sex, etc.) In the other words the methods and techniques of pickup artists use are a means to an end. They use their methods and techniques to facilitate the predetermined outcome that the pickup artist wants from the interaction.
This is the major reason why it is difficult for nice guys to use pick up techniques and methods to duplicate their success, the nice guy is focused on being genuine. Having an interaction based on forming a genuine connection is incompatible with using techniques that are based on getting a predetermined outcome from the interaction.
If you want a genuine connection that is specific to the two of you, then it has to be earned through being genuine and expressing yourself based on the uniqueness of that specific woman and the dynamics of that interaction. Coming up with a generic line or routine that works every time to get what you want is a violation of that.
What many pickup instructors don’t talk about, know or understand is that a genuine connection the result of a genuine interaction. It is based on both parties being open to the natural outcome of the interaction. It is very difficult to have a genuine interaction when that interaction is based on a fulfilling a predetermined outcome. That is why nice guys have a hard time making the methods and techniques of pickup artist and jerks work, because nice guys and pick up artist are interested in two different things.