Monthly Archives: November 2015

Nice Guys picking up women

Nice Guys picking up women

Raise your hand if you like picking up women.

I’m not talking about so-called pickup artist, I’m talking about the rest of the world who views pickup as a big chore.

Most nice guys and even most women do not like being picked up.

Now raise your hand if you enjoy meeting interesting people. (By interesting, I mean women that excites, provokes stimulates, or inspires you.)

Now look at all the hands go up! Guess what? Everybody likes meeting interesting people.

We’ll disagree over the definition of what is “interesting” and what is “not interesting,” but at the end of the day, we all want to meet someone who matches what we are looking for.

Why do so many nice guys say they hate picking-up women yet love meeting new people? And why do women say they hate being picked-up yet love meeting new people? Aren’t they basically the same thing?

What is the difference between picking up someone and meeting interesting people? The biggest difference is choice. No one likes having their choices taken away from them, and that is what pick-up fundamentally does when you proceed with the intention of picking-up a woman before you interact with her.

When you try to pick up a woman, you are too busy trying to force the interaction towards your predetermine outcome instead of enjoying what is naturally happening.

With the pickup mindset, the interaction is judged by weather you get her or not.

When you are meeting interesting people the interaction is judged by did you enjoy them or not. That is why most people prefer it over pickup. This is because the outcome of the interaction is not predetermined.

The pickup mindset assumes the close or ending of the interaction before it has actually happened, or before you have earned it. With the “meeting new people mindset”, the close comes out of the interaction naturally and the interaction also influences how that close manifest itself. Be it sex, a phone number, or simply a promise to talk to each other again.

When you get what you want by take away someone right to choose, it makes it hard for you to respect that person. When you don’t respect them, then it is hard for you to enjoy them.

Ironically the more you enjoy the interaction and the woman, the easier it will be for you to get her.

If you are having a hard time picking up women, then try starting out with the mindset of meeting interesting new people, instead of the mindset of picking up women.


Ice-T the Nice Guy


One of my favorite nice guys, rapper/actor Ice-T talks about how he used his nice guy tendencies to get his wife Coco. I want you to pay close attention to what he said to her after she walked away from him after he first met her. Then Ice-T also shows how far you can get when you have pride in yourself as a nice guy. This audio is from his awesome podcast: The final level episode 29 – Fifty Shades of Coco.